As a tutor, I arrive at the designated meeting place, the Academic Enrichment Center, a little early and wait for my students. Not everyone can make every single session, and some students will let me know in advance, hours before their session, that they can't make it. But there are also those who never tell me anything, leaving me sitting in the AEC waiting for them and wondering where they are. This happened last Thursday with two of my three students for that day. I emailed them, asking them if they were showing up. They both forgot, and didn't realize it until I emailed them. Righteous anger surging through me, I gathered my things (a little violently), about to stomp out of the AEC, when I remembered what I had just minutes earlier read from Disunity in Christ. I realized I had distanced myself from these two students, making them the other. They were inconsiderate, rude . . . I felt nothing positive toward them. I was unconsciously boosting myself by putting them down. But didn't I remember that time last year when a friend wanted to interview me for a booklet she wanted to distribute around campus? Didn't I remember how I completely forgot and showed up half an hour late? Didn't I remember the frustration and guilt I felt when I arrived and she wasn't there? Didn't I remember emailing my friend, being unable to reschedule, and ultimately not getting into booklet, as well as drifting even further apart from this person? Didn't I remember wishing I could redo it all?
And just like that, I could empathize with my forgetful students. They were no longer the "other." We were both "inconsiderate" and "rude." We were both human.
I appreciate your honesty in your reflection. Don't be afraid to give yourself some grace, for we are all humans and make mistakes. I know looking back on situations when you responded in a negative way can be disheartening, but we can also look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow! I believe having empathy is what connects us to those who are different than us. Once we fully empathize with them and understand where they are coming from, the barriers will crumble down. It is also important to recognize that we can not accomplish this with our own strength. With the help of the Holy Spirit and God's strength, we can break down the walls of division.
ReplyDeleteLike you reveal in your post, it's crazy how integral pride is to our way of thinking. We are constantly going out of our way to stroke our egos--looking down upon others to make us feel better by comparison. Yet, Christ calls us to so much more than disparity and worthless comparison because, like you discovered, we are no better than anyone else. Thanks so much for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences.
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