Chapters 3 & 4: I Am Not

 Categorizing is part of life for everyone, even those who claim they are unorganized. Our brains are always sorting experiences, knowledge, and thousands of other messages so they don't explode. I like how Cleveland acknowledged that this is important and normal for us as humans - but then qualified that this is not always helpful, and even destructive, particularly in regards to other people. I find myself doing this - putting people into boxes based on a couple insignificant externalities or things that I've heard, and judging whole groups based on these boxes. 

As a tutor, I find myself thinking that all the big football guys who come in for tutoring are a little dim and don't care much about academics. But this stereotype has been proven false a couple of times when the students who come in show that they are actually dedicated to understanding their classes and doing well in them. I like being proven wrong in my assumptions, but I need to remind myself that I shouldn't have these assumptions in the first place.

When people see me, they probably think I'm a typical American college student because I'm white and I live in the USA. There are already a host of stereotypes associated with this description, but what most people don't know is that I'm actually a homeschooled missionary kid from Mexico. I'm also an artist, a writer, a dancer. I listen to K-pop and watch anime. Stereotypes are broken, more stereotypes are brought forward. I wonder if people associate certain stereotypes with me - I'm eccentric, I'm bad at math, I have no life, etc. Then I wonder if those assumptions are true of me. Some are, which I want to embrace (or quietly cry about, since I actually am very bad at math), and some aren't, which I want to announce to everyone I come across that they aren't true. I know that I am not what most people expect, and what I find to be so incredible is that this true for most other people as well. If I remember that everyone has something unexpected, something new to bring to the table, hopefully I can catch myself before I think "dumb jock" the next time a football player comes in for tutoring.

Chapters 1 & 2: Us, Beloved

Christena Cleveland surprised me. I did not expect her casual language and dry humor, which instantly drew me into her narrative of Ben. Ben was apparently the "wrong" kind of Christian, and Cleveland didn't want to have anything to do with him, rather associating herself with people who more closely shared her "right" values. As I read about her struggles with "the other," though, I realized just how hypocritical Christians can be - touting Jesus' love and acceptance on the one hand, while pushing so-called heretics to their fates. And following this unconscious revelation, a terrible feeling crawled into my soul, for I knew I had done the same thing. How many people over the course of my college career had I - for one reason or another - decided I just didn't like and tried to avoid? There was that one girl who never smiled at me. There was the girl whom everyone loved because of her bright and fun personality - which she never showed around me. There was the guy who creeped me out and seemed to pop up everywhere I went. My assumptions ran high, and in most of these cases, they were proved wrong once I got to know the people. That girl who never smiled? She rarely smiled at anyone because that was just her personality, and she was actually pretty nice. The girl who shut down every time she was around me? We're not friends, but I eventually realized she doesn't hate me. The guy who creeped me out? He's just a little awkward, and he seems like a strong Christian. But even if these people did live up to my perceived image of them, does that give me any right as a Christian to push them aside? Jesus says that we merit nothing if we love those who love us. It's like demanding a prize for breathing. Everyone does it. But we - the beloved of Christ, us princes and princesses of the eternal Kingdom - are called to love our enemies. That's what makes people turn their heads, makes them ask, makes them curious about this God who cares less about externalities and more about the attitude of our hearts.